You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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