Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize