great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
