i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is Oprah even human
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
