We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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