whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
