Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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