Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
