There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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