Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
