Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
