Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im six kinds of drunk right now
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
