JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
