Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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