Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
