i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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