You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
