I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
