So drunk its hurt
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
