Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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