Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
