i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
