God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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