See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
