New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
