im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
