Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize