I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize