just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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