Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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