my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
