do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
