I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
foreskin is a definite game changer
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
