were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
