I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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