I love black thongs
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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