I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
