I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
