Do you still have your period?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The beer is more important than you right now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
