I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i already hear my dad disowning me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
