can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
