I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
