that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
