I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize