I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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