eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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