He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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