That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
