went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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