I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
