I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think I sprained my soul last night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
