covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
what is it with giant penises always finding me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
