Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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