My first STD was from a foam party
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
