Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
