HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
