Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
