She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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