You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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