He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize