Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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