Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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