I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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