Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize