Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Jerry, you need to find god
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
