She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize