I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
