so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
