would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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