Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
