the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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